Individual Counseling: Finding Joy Again

Sometimes life hands you a bucket (or an entire tree) of sour lemons, and you are desperate to find joy again.

Times When Individual Counseling Might Help

Consider these examples where individual counseling might be appropriate:

• You don’t get into the college of your dreams and feel like you are suddenly wandering in the wilderness, unsure of where to go next.
• The person you think you are in love with and want to marry dumps you out of the blue.
• You find out a parent or best friend is terminally ill.
• You find out that one of your closest friends has been spreading rumors about you for years.
• You are in a season of medical testing, infertility, or recently felt the heartbreak of a miscarriage.
• You are in a season of “new” that is proving to be much more difficult than anticipated. You have a new marriage, new baby, or new job, and did not realize how depleting and emotionally rocky this new season would be.
• You are blindsided at work and find out that your position is being terminated.
• You are in a season of disappointment in the friendship department. Maybe you don’t feel like you have close friends, or you have recently been left out by your close-knit circle and don’t know how to move forward.
• You feel like you just can’t catch up on bills, no matter how hard you work.
• You feel distant with God right now. Maybe you aren’t sure how to praise Him in the storms of life.
• You feel overwhelmed with emotions because one of your children just received a devastating diagnosis.
• You feel like a failure because one of your children is dealing with anger and rage like you do.

You might feel like your life has become a nonstop cycle of feeling defeated and depleted. There are no “instant” fixes to our moods. However, with God’s help and some intentional changes, our mindset can be shifted even during the most frustrating seasons.

James 1:2-4 NIV reminds us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” The hard seasons of your life can produce these good things as you stay close to God.

If you are in a season of life that is handing you sour lemons, here are a few steps to consider:

Do not let one misstep redirect you. One bad day, one difficult conversation, or one trying season does not have to define your future. Perhaps this season of lemons is leading to your biggest breakthrough. Do not give up. Do not accept defeat. Do not assume that God is against you – He is for you! Cling to Him. Have the difficult conversations. Show up to the difficult appointments. Ask for help. This misstep does not mean your life is spiraling out of control.

Remember that this season is not forever. When you are facing a difficult or stressful period, keep telling yourself this is temporary. Verbalize your feelings and let it really soak into your soul. This stressful season at work will not last forever. This sleepless season with little kids will not last forever. This season of distance with your friend will not last forever. Keep working through individual counseling and keep moving forward.

Give yourself permission to get ahead of any strongholds on your heart. In a season that is starting to feel defeating, it is important to give yourself permission to get ahead of it. Schedule your counseling appointment before your life feels out of control. Have the conversation with the best friend who hurt your feelings before you let your thoughts fester.

Talk to your boss about your workload before you feel too burned out to continue. Ask your husband for help around the house before you feel too weary and too overwhelmed. Schedule a date night before you feel too distant from your spouse. Set up an individual counseling session with a Christian counselor. You do not have to wait until the lemons feel like they are scattered around you to take action.

Continue to embrace community. When we feel like life is overwhelming and do not want to burden others with our problems, it is easy to retreat and try to carry it on our own. In these overwhelming seasons, we should do the opposite. Go to Bible study, even when you feel awkward. Schedule the individual counseling session, even if you are not sure where to start. Continue to call out and cry out to God on the good days and the difficult days.

Be transparent. In a world where people want to appear perfect, know that you do not have to put on a mask – with God, with your counselor, and with yourself. Journal what you are really thinking and feeling. Turn on your favorite song and unleash your feelings. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse and be honest about your struggles. Pray from the hurting crevices of your heart.

Find the little glimmers of joy. When you are facing a difficult season or trying to navigate challenging feelings, it is important to hold onto the glimmers of joy. Bask in the baby snuggles. Soak up the sunshine hitting your face. Relish the kindness of a stranger.

Enjoy every moment of an adventure with your spouse or the best outdoor run you have had in a while. Appreciate the times you show up, even when everything inside of you wanted to quit. Take in the sweet moments in your quiet time. Let the sunshine radiate throughout the struggling parts of your heart.

Don’t give up. Hold on to hope. Know that God’s love can take you to new heights and help you soar in ways you never thought possible. C. H. Spurgeon said, “To trust God in the light is nothing, but to trust him in the dark – that is faith.” The misstep you are experiencing is not tearing your life apart – it’s helping you build a stronger, more hopeful future. God can use it to strengthen you, help others, and learn to lean more on Him.

Schedule your individual counseling session with one of the Christian counselors at our office who want to see the lemons in your life turned into the most refreshing and rejuvenating cup of lemonade you have ever experienced. This season of torrential downpours might be leading you to the sight of the most beautiful rainbow. Do not give up, retreat, or accept defeat. Keep pressing forward in God’s strength.

A Prayer for Difficult Seasons

Lord, I pray for the person who is struggling right now. Lord, please remind them that You are in control. Please send glimmers of joy into their day. Please send their heart rays of sunshine when it needs it most. Father, please remind them that You are in control and You can use this season for good. Please give them strength to ask for help, courage to know when to take steps forward, and encouragement when their heart needs it most.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

Scriptures for Trying Seasons

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. – Romans 5:3-5, NLT

When we trust in God during our troubles, he develops endurance, character, and hope in us. Those are gifts that no one can take away.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. – Ephesians 3:20, NLT

Whether you can see it or not right now, God is working good things for your life despite the trials you are facing.

Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. – Psalm 106:1, NLT

Praising God for his faithful love when you are dealing with the lemons of life is a powerful way to strengthen your faith.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13, NIV

There is nothing too hard for you to do if you rely on God to give you the strength to handle it.

God is our refuge and strength and ever-present in times of trouble. – Psalm 46:1, NIV

Run to God as your safe place on the hardest days you face, and he will comfort you.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. – Isaiah 41:10, NLT

If you are facing discouragement, God wants to lift you up. You can also meet with a Christian counselor for individual counseling to get the wisdom, encouragement, and perspective you need to get through a tough time.