Kate Motaung, Richardson Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-05-19T08:43:07+00:00May 19th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

We are all imperfect human beings with flaws and weaknesses. All relationships have their ups and downs. Over time there are bound to be arguments and frustrations, intimacy may wax and wane, and your spouse may seem boring or exhibit annoying behavior, but that does not necessarily mean you’re in a toxic marriage. At the heart of any great relationship is partnership. . . . If you’re dealing with an opponent instead of a partner, that’s toxic. – Wendy Newman A healthy marriage is built on trust, cooperation, and open, honest communication that enables you and your spouse to talk through issues respectfully. Both of you are willing to accept some of the responsibility when things go wrong, and to look at things from your partner’s perspective. In a healthy marriage, spouses do not often get unpredictably upset over minor issues. They care about each other’s well-being, try to meet one another’s needs, and provide each other with emotional support. What is the difference between a difficult marriage and a toxic marriage? The main difference between a toxic marriage and a difficult one is that you can grow in a difficult marriage and learn to become more patient, understanding, and unassuming. In a toxic marriage, however, spouses do not support one another, and the discord goes far beyond an occasional rough patch. A toxic marriage is destructive and damaging to your physical health as well as to your mental and emotional well-being. It is marked by persistent conflict, disrespect, and attacks on your character as your spouse frequently tries to undermine you. Negative experiences far outweigh any positive ones, and you feel as though you are being destroyed. What are the signs of a toxic marriage? You may experience any or all of these signs: The relationship feels draining You [...]

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Common Symptoms of Stress and Anxiety

Common Symptoms of Stress and Anxiety

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-05-15T07:41:04+00:00May 15th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It seems like more people are experiencing symptoms of stress and anxiety. In fact, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, as many as 31% of the United States adult population will experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime; that is, millions of Americans struggling with the symptoms of stress and anxiety. The Harmful Effects of Chronic Stress and Anxiety The harmful effects of the symptoms of stress and anxiety can lead to a physical and mental decline in health. When you feel overwhelmed, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline to help you through the “danger.” However, chronic stress can keep your body suspended in this fight-or-flight response. Symptoms of Stress and Anxiety You may not experience all of the symptoms of stress and anxiety for them to affect your health. For example, increased blood pressure and resting heart rate over a long period will increase your risk of heart disease, heart attack, and stroke. Consult your doctor to rule out any medical conditions and seek counseling to help you manage your symptoms. Digestive Issues Increased cortisol and adrenaline can trigger the fight-or-flight response, increasing stomach acid. When stressed, you may experience acid reflux, heartburn, excessive burning, and stomach pain. Consult with your physician about medical treatments to soothe your digestive tract as you work on stress management. Headaches Stress or tension headaches can feel like a vice around your head. You may feel this headache on both sides of the head. If you are a woman, you may also experience more severe headaches on the days leading up to your menstrual period. Over-the-counter medications can help as well as getting plenty of sleep. Increased Heart Rate Adrenaline gets your heart pumping, preparing you to run or fight. Chronic stress and anxiety can cause your resting heart rate [...]

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Different Types of Depression: What to Look For and How to Tell the Difference

Different Types of Depression: What to Look For and How to Tell the Difference

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T11:53:56+00:00April 25th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Depression affects millions of people worldwide. Common symptoms of depression include persistent sadness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and loss of interest in enjoyable activities. For those who suffer from depression, these symptoms are usually present nearly every day and can make work, school, or spending time with loved ones incredibly difficult. Under the umbrella term of depression are several types of depression, such as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Bipolar Disorder, or Postpartum Disorder, among others. Several types of depression exist because the symptoms and presentation of depression vary depending on factors like one’s brain chemistry, hormonal changes, or life circumstances. As a result, different types of treatment may be needed. The Different Types of Depression Everyone feels down from time to time. However, depression is a persistent sadness that doesn’t lift as easily. It may feel like a shadow following you, an empty feeling in your chest. With the different types of depression, symptoms can last from two weeks to several months or years. Treatment for the different types of depression varies, but most counselors use a combination of talk therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, group therapy, and time. In some cases, your physician may prescribe medication to take in combination with counseling. The following are several different types of depression. Major Depressive Disorder Major Depressive Disorder is what most people think of when they think of depression. Symptoms can be severe and last for at least two weeks, although many people experience symptoms up to a year without treatment. Major Depressive Disorder episodes can return months or years after treatment. The risk for recurrence is higher the more often you experience depressive episodes. Up to 10% of people with Major Depressive Disorder will later be diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. People with this type of depression are more likely to have [...]

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Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Navigating Romantic Relationships and Issues of the Heart

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Navigating Romantic Relationships and Issues of the Heart

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T04:38:52+00:00April 24th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Billions of people populate planet Earth. Naturally, it feels like we’ve discovered hidden treasure when meeting “the one” of a million potential romantic interests. It’s exciting to start a new romantic relationship and to learn about that person, while also discovering and developing ourselves. As the relationship progresses, we discover the beauty of connection, learning to give and receive love. Yet, as time evolves, the match we have made may look and feel different than we remember at the start. Often, what seemed magical in the beginning feels weighty in time. King Solomon, who penned many proverbs, echoed that God coordinates our purpose with the times and seasons of our lives. When relationships fray, we may question why an individual came into our lives. Growing a healthy relationship takes two people with God at the core, but everyone who comes together won’t necessarily remain together. Whether joining with a potential partner or separating from them, our hearts require tender care as we pray, seek counsel, and follow the Holy Spirit’s lead. Not only do we need to discern God’s heart before we enter a dating partnership, but we also need to search His heart before terminating a relationship. Richardson Christian Counseling provides Christ-centered support and guidance through every season of relationships, helping individuals navigate both beginnings and endings with wisdom and grace. This article outfits us with spiritual insight and practical considerations for relationships when plagued with issues of the heart. Suitability and Breaking Up While some people may not have all of what we are looking for, that may not mean they are an unsuitable fit or a poor choice. Likewise, some people may possess desirable qualities, and not be suitable or well-matched for us. According to the Bible, God wants us to have partners that are a [...]

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Taking Active Steps Toward Bullying Prevention

Taking Active Steps Toward Bullying Prevention

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T05:20:44+00:00April 4th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Whether in person or online, our society has become increasingly intertwined. Even though we now have more ways to connect with people through social media, texts, calls, or video chats, these same means of connection can also cause us to feel distant from one another. One area where this is keenly seen is with regard to bullying. Bullying is one such way in which people ignore the basic needs, dignity, and humanity of others. Bullying affects both adults and children, leading to feelings of isolation, anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression. Richardson Christian Counseling supports individuals who are struggling with the emotional effects of bullying, offering compassionate care grounded in faith and healing. When it comes to children, bullying most often happens at school, but it also can take place online as well. Those who are more at risk of being bullied are: People who are considered weak or unable to defend themselves Those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, and two-spirit People who are perceived as being different based on their weight, what they wear, or their social status Those who have a physical, mental, or intellectual disability Bullying Prevention by Understanding Bullying To develop effective strategies to prevent bullying, we must understand the nature of bullying. According to the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), bullying is characterized by the following: Intentional It is unwanted, aggressive behavior that is intended to cause emotional or physical harm. Repeated Unwanted behavior is repeated multiple times or has the likelihood of being repeated many times. Power imbalance Bullying involves an imbalance of power between the target and perpetrator(s) based on a person’s weight, real or perceived race, color, national origin, religion or religious practices, disability ethnic group, sexual orientation, gender, physical appearance, sex, or other distinguishing characteristics. [...]

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The Impacts of Birth Order

The Impacts of Birth Order

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T05:26:21+00:00March 25th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

In the 1920s, Alfred Adler, a physician and psychotherapist, developed a theory on personality. His theory emphasized the influence a community (family, friendships, and society at large) has on an individual. Through Adler’s research and interviews, he noticed many commonalities in personality traits related to the birth order of children. In particular, he noticed that the order in which a child is born in relation to their siblings can impact one’s personality traits and lifestyle. This theory, known as Birth Order Theory, categorizes personality traits based on a child’s position in the family. It identifies three main categories: firstborn, middleborn, and lastborn. Richardson Christian Counseling recognizes the influence of birth order and offers support in understanding how it may shape individual experiences and relationships. It is important to remember that while some aspects of Adler’s theory might apply to certain individuals, it does not necessarily hold true for everyone. The Firstborn Child First-time parents often have strong opinions on how a child should be raised. Putting those opinions into practice while raising their first child may involve significant trial and error. These parents were learning as they were raising a child. Personality Traits of the Firstborn Child The firstborn often experiences the parents growing up with them. They are the children who give their parents experience in child-rearing. This can lead to a strict and cautious upbringing. Being raised under that dynamic, they often become success-oriented. The traits of firstborn children may include being: Mature Responsible Organized Leaders High achieving Controlling Cautious Reliable Perfectionist The firstborn child experienced having the parents to themselves and getting all the attention. This also meant that the firstborn was more than likely subjected to stricter rules. Being the oldest child sometimes means a greater expectation to set a good example for the younger [...]

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Navigating Postpartum OCD

Navigating Postpartum OCD

Kate Motaung2025-04-25T05:35:18+00:00March 24th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD, Women’s Issues|

The arrival of a child is an occasion of joy and much celebrating. However, many challenges can come with pregnancy, birth, and the weeks and months that follow, including postpartum OCD. Postpartum OCD Explained Postpartum OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is a mental health condition that affects 3-5 percent of new mothers immediately after childbirth, with some symptoms emerging 4-6 weeks after delivery. It’s a type of anxiety disorder that’s marked by intrusive and recurring thoughts, called obsessions, along with repetitive behaviors, called compulsions, that are often deployed as ways to deal with obsessions. These obsessions and compulsions will often interfere with daily life. Some of the obsessions that a new mom may have include fear of dirt or contamination or being preoccupied with the baby’s safety and health. Likewise, they may be overwhelmed with fear of being a bad mother, as well as fear of causing harm to the baby or herself. Richardson Christian Counseling provides support for new mothers navigating these fears, offering compassionate care and guidance to help restore peace of mind and strengthen their mental health. The compulsive responses to these may cause the new mom to want symmetry and order around her and the baby. She may repeatedly look for reassurance from others about her mothering or the child’s well-being. There may be ritualistic behaviors like repeating phrases and counting and constantly checking the baby to see if they are breathing. She may repeatedly check the baby’s temperature or do excessive cleaning and sanitizing. Other signs of postpartum OCD to look out for include having difficulty sleeping or concentrating, digestive problems, or headaches. Likewise, the mom may experience feelings of dread and worry. They could also feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or trapped. Mom may begin avoidance behaviors, avoiding situations or tasks such as leaving the house with [...]

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Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T05:48:01+00:00March 20th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When you think about getting older, your first thoughts may be based on fear and dread. For example, you may have concerns regarding rising healthcare costs, physical ailments, slowing down, losing loved ones, or getting left behind from the metaphorical rivers of life. However, while those concerns are real and important, elderly people often develop full, meaningful, and fun lives. Richardson Christian Counseling offers support for those navigating the challenges of aging, helping individuals find purpose and peace in this season of life. One of the key strategies to creating an abundant and fulfilling life as we age is to navigate isolation and, therefore, loneliness. While we can’t skip the natural ebb and flow of life’s highs and lows, we can safeguard ourselves from loneliness by making intentional choices. Ways to Guard Against Loneliness as You Approach Aging First, the most important way to prevent loneliness involves surrounding yourself with meaningful relationships. This may mean looking at your current relationships to see if they are serving you well, or even considering moving closer to family and friends. It may also mean moving to a community where there are many others in your age range. To form friendships and relationships that are meaningful and that can stand the test of time, it’s important to make sure you know how to build new ones. So, before you make any sweeping changes in your geography, ask yourself these questions: Am I around enough people I enjoy and with whom I could begin new friendships? Do I like the people I’ve surrounded myself with? Are the people in my everyday life leading a lifestyle that allows for hobbies and time with friends or are they too busy? If my top two friends right now were to move away or, sadly, pass away, would [...]

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How Your God-Given Internal Cues Can Stop Emotional Eating

How Your God-Given Internal Cues Can Stop Emotional Eating

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T05:55:42+00:00March 7th, 2025|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

Chronic stress, a silent predator, is a key instigator of a range of physical and mental ailments. Unfortunately, it also slyly fuels emotional eating. What happens is that we often turn to food beyond our physical hunger because we’re trying to fill a deep-seated void. God actually created that void in us to fill with Himself. Therefore, we know that food is not the answer. God has gifted us with a sophisticated system that signals when we need to nourish ourselves and when we should refrain from eating. This system helps us to effectively curb emotional eating by recognizing and responding to internal cues. Defining True Hunger The internal cues we possess to indicate hunger are natural and intuitive. Your body releases two hormones, ghrelin and leptin. Ghrelin stimulates the appetite, making your stomach feel empty and often causing it to growl. The growl or empty sensation may subside but return in 10-30 minutes as your body requires fuel. Richardson Christian Counseling helps individuals explore and manage emotional eating patterns, offering guidance to develop healthier relationships with food and body awareness. The other hormone, leptin, controls satiety. You experience the sensation of being full when fat cells release leptin, which leads you to stop eating. This hormone is released when it receives the signal from the stomach approaching fullness. Unfortunately, many individuals continue to eat even when they are already full or not hungry, making it difficult to gauge their satiety or control their eating. This can lead to physical discomfort, obesity, digestive problems, and even illness if it becomes a consistent habit. Understanding these potential health risks can be a powerful motivator to change our eating habits. Why We Eat Our Emotions If the empty feeling or stomach growl indicates hunger, why do we eat when not physically [...]

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How to Identify Codependent Behavior in a Relationship

How to Identify Codependent Behavior in a Relationship

Kate Motaung2025-04-25T05:57:51+00:00March 6th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When it comes to relationships, there are many different ways and reasons it can be unhealthy and struggling to flourish. One of those ways is through codependent behavior. Codependency Briefly Explained The term codependency describes a relationship in which the people involved are over-reliant on one another. This over-reliance may be mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical, and it often leads to a person entering and remaining in destructive, one-sided, or abusive relationships. Codependent relationships can be found in all kinds of relationships, such as the parent-child relationship, between siblings, coworkers, or lovers. Often, codependent behavior is learned as a person watches and then goes on to imitate the behavior they see displayed in unhealthy relationships. That’s one reason there can be patterns of codependent behavior in families. A codependent person will often feel, for one reason or another, that it is their role to ‘save’ another person and to meet their needs, even if it is at the expense of their own needs and well-being. Richardson Christian Counseling offers support for individuals struggling with codependency, helping them break unhealthy patterns and develop balanced, healthy relationships. In a codependent relationship dynamic, there is a severe imbalance in meeting one another’s needs. The person who gives of themselves to meet the needs of another can lose their sense of who they are by defining themselves by the needs of the other person. Codependency often results from taking on too much responsibility for another person’s needs, and it goes beyond a healthy mutual dependence. Some Signs of Codependent Behavior in Relationships A codependent relationship is unhealthy at the root because it wraps one’s sense of self in meeting someone else’s needs. It also enables the other person to not resolve issues for themselves. It’s natural to want to move toward your loved [...]

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