Entering a relationship is exciting and a little scary. Are you moving too fast? Is it too early to share with him certain private matters? Is he treating you right? We can rush in if we feel lonely or have recently divorced.

A list of relationship advice for women exists to assist us in making the right choices while keeping our priorities and values front and center. Think of it as a checklist detailing what you want in a healthy relationship and from a man who will add to your life.

Relationship Advice for Women

You can take these suggestions as standard relationship advice for women who want a partner who will make them better without losing their sense of self. Often, we connect with a man on a surface level, worrying about what he thinks about us or if we are rushing the relationship’s growth.

If you have past failed relationships, this may scare you even more. Am I pushing him away if I am myself? Should I pretend to be the person he would want to date and marry? Being anyone other than yourself is futile – no one can hide who they are for long. And why would you?

God created you with the personality and appearance unique to you. This does not mean that you should not try to be a better version of yourself by learning new skills and taking care of your health and body. Instead, it means being vulnerable and allowing your true self to shine. If someone cannot accept you for the person God created you to be, that man is probably not the one for you. Move on.

Know Your Worth

As you mature, you grow into your identity. You begin to set boundaries and know what you will tolerate and what you would never consider. But certain events, trauma, childhood experiences, and past relationships can blind you to your worth. When you do not know your worth, you may attract a man with his own issues and a demanding personality. Or you may hurt yourself in an effort to please other people.

When we look to others for approval or use external factors to base our self-worth, it will leave us wanting. Self-worth must originate from the inside by listing your strengths and building your confidence. You may need to learn how to be assertive to keep people from walking over you. In every circumstance, ask yourself if the other person is treating you with respect.

Let Him Chase You

Men like the chase. They want to fantasize about the woman as being their ideal partner. A man will court a woman, which is why we hear the saying that it is best to “play hard to get.” On the other hand, men do not like to be chased by a woman.

Although we enjoy the attention, the flowers and candy, and the surprise luncheons that come with being pursued, men feel suffocated if a woman is popping up at work or texting and calling all day. This behavior pushes a man away instead of bringing him closer. They run away from drama.

The best relationship advice for women is not to be accessible all the time. Your life should not revolve around a man wanting to date you or even a boyfriend. You have your own schedule to keep and responsibilities to manage. Then when you are together, it will be that much sweeter.

Keep Your Identity

While dating someone, do not lose yourself in the other person’s interests and hobbies and neglect your own. As women, we can get caught up in wanting to spend quality time with our significant other. We might attend basketball games with him or take up golf because that is what he loves to do. There is nothing wrong with engaging in activities that he likes.

It becomes a problem when we stop doing the things that we love. Do you find solace in your daily workout at the gym? Do you have a weekly date with your best girlfriends? Do not stop doing the activities that bring you joy or meeting with your friends because of a new person in your life. Maintain your separate identity as you grow closer.

Nurture the Relationship

Relationships take work. If you want to one day grow old together, you need to be prepared to make the daily choice to share your life with your significant other. You must maintain your separate identity while balancing quality time.

For example, perhaps you love starting your day with a sweaty workout six mornings a week, but your significant other works the night shift. It may be prudent to either get up earlier one day a week to work out or skip that day to meet your boyfriend at a restaurant for breakfast for a weekly date.

There is a time and a place for compromise. Just make sure you are not the only one compromising all the time and that the choices you make to nurture the relationship are not hurting your integrity or values. Your intrinsic values like your faith make up who you are, and you will feel discontent and empty if you do not prioritize those.

Never Ignore Red Flags

Never rush into marriage with someone, even if you feel lonely. When we first start dating someone new, we put our best foot forward, wanting to impress them. We do not show them the raw, emotional, and often ugly parts of our lives or personality. The man you are dating does the same. This is why it can take months of dating to see how a person really behaves when faced with crises.

You know what behaviors you will not tolerate from someone. Keep an eye out for red flags and refuse to turn a blind eye. People do not change their behavior once married unless God moves through them and they repent. Watch for short-tempered outbursts, flirtatious behavior with other women, and white lies. If, at any time, he lashes out at you physically or emotionally, cut your losses and move on. You cannot fix another person. Hurt people hurt other people.

Work on Communication Skills

When we start a new relationship, we bring in our past experiences and baggage. To protect our hearts and feelings we may expect things from our new significant other without telling them. The truth is that he cannot read your mind. If you want or need something from him, you must make that clear by verbally expressing it.

If you struggle with communication, seek help from online courses or a counselor. The skills you will learn are lifelong and can expand into every area of your life. With solid communication skills, you will not only resolve conflict but also feel more confident in voicing your opinions.

Put God First

If you want the relationship to grow stronger and last, you need God at the center. When both people love God, obey His commands, and follow Christ, the relationship can weather even the harshest storms. God created marriage and blessed relationships between godly people who serve Him. A believer follows Jesus’ teachings and the Ten Commandments, such as loving one another, not committing adultery, or coveting what belongs to others.

Following God’s commands can keep you from heartaches and betrayals. As a believer, you also practice forgiveness and grace. You acknowledge what God has done for you and are more likely to show others mercy.

Can You Make It for the Long Haul?

A healthy relationship has many moving parts, and how you connect physically, mentally, and emotionally matters. You can take all the relationship advice for women, but if the relationship lacks the necessary components, it will fall flat.

If you are concerned about your relationship, reach out to a counselor today to schedule an appointment for couples therapy. Getting on the same page is the first step to increasing the longevity of your relationship.

Photo:
“A large body of water”, Courtesy of Unsplash, Unsplash.com, CC0 License

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

Articles are intended for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice; the content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All opinions expressed by authors and quoted sources are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, publishers or editorial boards of Stone Oak Christian Counseling. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk.

Book an appointment

Don’t wait, get started today