Premarital Counseling: Practical Support Before Getting Married

Our culture has undergone massive shifts in how we conduct our relationships and the mindset that informs our plays at love. Though many are choosing to cohabit or have other non-traditional couplings, others are still taking steps to celebrate their relationship through marriage. Getting married is an exciting journey that only begins when you say your vows and hopefully lasts a lifetime, making premarital counseling an important step.

One of the ways you can strengthen your marriage by gaining tools to prepare you for marital bliss is through premarital counseling. The last thing on your mind during cake tastings or looking through color swatches and table settings is probably wondering who will take the trash out once you’re married. Premarital counseling may seem like it goes against the flow of the wedding rush, but it’s exactly what you need to set yourselves up for life.

How Premarital Counseling Works

Premarital counseling is a form of talk therapy for couples who have decided to get married. The couple speaks to a couples counselor who helps them to think about different aspects of what married life is like. The couple can meet with their counselor, or they can participate in group counseling with other couples on a similar journey toward marriage. The counseling sessions are typically held in person, but an online option is often available.

Premarital counseling can be conducted from a Christian standpoint, highlighting, for instance, how Christian marriage works, questions about divorce and infidelity, as well as how the couple can nurture their faith, serve and support each other. Where premarital counseling is informed by Christian faith, that doesn’t mean that only Christians can benefit from it. Serving one another is a key aspect of any marriage, Christian or not.

Premarital counseling sessions will typically be about an hour long, and there are six or more weekly sessions. During the sessions, your counselor will pose questions to you to help you think about and talk through your expectations, fears, feelings, and thoughts concerning various areas of married life. The sessions are a safe and guided space to explore issues that affect married couples.

The Upshot of Doing Premarital Counseling

You might not think it, but you gain a lot by sitting down and discussing what you feel and think about a particular subject. Some people are great at finding the words to describe their thoughts and feelings, while others may fumble around to do so. Sometimes people can express themselves, but they can only do so in a condescending tone, or in a way that blames and shames others. This can only hinder effective communication.

When you do premarital counseling, you’re placed in a situation where you can learn to express yourself and your deepest yearnings. Your counselor will help you develop the language to express yourself well. As you do this, you can begin identifying areas of disagreement, misalignment, and potential discord, as well as your strengths as a couple. Premarital counseling can help you understand each other better.

Premarital counseling lets you get ahead of the issues that often break marriages down, and it equips you to handle trouble when it comes. In life, trouble always comes, and it’s a matter of when and not if. Premarital counseling is the intentional move to head trouble off at the pass before it overwhelms you. Premarital counseling will address various questions, including the following:

Your boundaries as a couple and as individuals

This includes things like how you spend your time and money, how you relate to your in-laws, how to handle social media, access to your devices and digital life, and so on.

Addressing infidelity

This includes uncovering your understanding of what constitutes infidelity.

Your understanding of marriage and divorce

People don’t understand marriage the same way. They also may have differences of opinion about when or if divorce is an option, and what role counseling will play when the marriage is on the rocks.

Finances and roles

Couples can discuss their roles in the marriage, and they can also discuss how they’ll handle money in their relationship.

Children

The question is whether both want children and how they’d want to raise them.

Next Steps

Premarital counseling will touch on questions like these, helping the couple apply their hearts and minds to them. Counseling will help the couple formulate strategies to handle conflict, build up their communication and problem-solving skills, and help them appreciate their respective strengths. By identifying potential issues early on, including dealbreakers, the couple can make informed decisions about their future life together.

In summary, premarital counseling helps a couple prepare for married life. If you’re thinking about getting married, or you’re already on the road toward marriage, premarital counseling can help you and your partner set a solid foundation that will last through the years.

To meet with a counselor at Texas Christian Counseling in Richardson, Texas, call our office today.