It seems that the world has a skewed view, perhaps even with a sexist slant, on men’s feelings toward romantic love in a relationship. Women in movies are often portrayed as the ones who long for romantic love, while men are stereotyped as being aloof, sex-crazed loners.

Other media outlets, like books, television, and social media, also try to convince us that while men long for physical intimacy, they are just supposed to check out emotionally. These fictional male heartthrobs of media fame are often portrayed as the brooding loners who don’t talk much, don’t feel deep emotions, and definitely don’t need anyone. And that is just nonsense.

As with most generalizations, these labels and generalizations about men’s feelings and needs are not true. Most real men, the ones you know and interact with every day (and even you who are reading this now), want an authentic romantic connection. Society might tell them that sex should be the goal and not lasting love or marriage, but that’s not what most real-life men actually want. Maybe you’re a real man who is looking for a deep connection!

Real Relationship Advice for Men

Trust God

If you’re a Christian, this part matters more than anything. You can try all the gimmicks, pickup lines, and self-improvement in the world, but your need for love can only truly be filled by having a relationship with the Lord. Spend time in Scripture and ask God to shape your character into the person your future wife needs.

Pray about the kind of woman who would complement your mission, not just match your interest or spark your attraction. God cares about you and your relationships and about who you become while waiting for it.

Don’t hide your heart

One of the biggest challenges that people face in relationships is finding a balance between protecting their hearts and being emotionally available. Maybe you’ve been hurt before, lied to, or rejected, and now you’re hesitant to open your heart again. It’s understandable, but guarding your heart does not preclude you from being emotionally available. Don’t hide behind masks of sarcasm, silence, and a tough guy exterior. Instead, let your faith guide your discernment and leave room for love.

Try relationship therapy

Another misconception that affects men’s dating life is that going to therapy is only for women and those experiencing deep trauma. The truth is that it takes real guts to talk about your feelings and to tell your story. Talking with a therapist can not only help you feel better as an individual, but can also greatly improve your chances of finding your forever love.

If relationships feel confusing, constricting, or completely out of reach, it’s probably not just “bad luck” you’ve been experiencing. There’s likely a pattern in how you present yourself, interact with others, or in the people you choose to pursue romantically.

A faith-based therapist in Richardson, Texas can help you figure out if childhood trauma, emotional aloofness, anger, or fear could be interfering with your romantic life. A trained and skilled therapist can not only help you identify, but also help you work through some of these obstacles to love.

Be yourself in a relationship

How many times have you heard that advice? Probably a lot! But that’s because while it may sound cliché, it is actually wise dating advice. Authenticity is one of the most attractive and powerful things you can bring to a relationship. Trying to be someone you’re not might work for a little while, but it’s exhausting (and deceitful) to maintain a façade. Being yourself allows others to get to know you without a mask, and that’s when real love can grow.

In the meantime

Some men meet their match early in life, while others wait for years. The waiting can feel brutal, lonely, confusing, and even unfair. But don’t let the delay convince you to settle on someone who isn’t within God’s plan, or to give up entirely. Stay grounded in your faith and rooted in your values.

Finding your soulmate

Being a man who wants to find true love in today’s world is something to be proud of. God has made you for spiritual and emotional connections, and it’s important to acknowledge and submit to His plan in your relationships.

Trust in God for the strength to go beyond the physical attraction that the world says is so important. Do the hard work of healing your trauma and overcoming your challenges. Don’t try to pretend to be something you aren’t, and soon you will find that soulmate your heart desires. She’s probably out there looking for you right now!

Christian Counseling for Relationships in Richardson, Texas

To learn more about how a Christian counselor in Richarson, Texas can help you prepare to find the real relationship you desire, contact our office today at Texas Christian Counseling, Richardson.

Photo:
“Beach Grass”, Courtesy of Annie Spratt, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License

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Articles are intended for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice; the content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All opinions expressed by authors and quoted sources are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, publishers or editorial boards of Stone Oak Christian Counseling. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk.

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