How to Identify Codependent Behavior in a Relationship

When it comes to relationships, there are many different ways and reasons it can be unhealthy and struggling to flourish. One of those ways is through codependent behavior.

Codependency Briefly Explained

The term codependency describes a relationship in which the people involved are over-reliant on one another. This over-reliance may be mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical, and it often leads to a person entering and remaining in destructive, one-sided, or abusive relationships. Codependent relationships can be found in all kinds of relationships, such as the parent-child relationship, between siblings, coworkers, or lovers.

Often, codependent behavior is learned as a person watches and then goes on to imitate the behavior they see displayed in unhealthy relationships. That’s one reason there can be patterns of codependent behavior in families. A codependent person will often feel, for one reason or another, that it is their role to ‘save’ another person and to meet their needs, even if it is at the expense of their own needs and well-being. Richardson Christian Counseling offers support for individuals struggling with codependency, helping them break unhealthy patterns and develop balanced, healthy relationships.

In a codependent relationship dynamic, there is a severe imbalance in meeting one another’s needs. The person who gives of themselves to meet the needs of another can lose their sense of who they are by defining themselves by the needs of the other person. Codependency often results from taking on too much responsibility for another person’s needs, and it goes beyond a healthy mutual dependence.

Some Signs of Codependent Behavior in Relationships

A codependent relationship is unhealthy at the root because it wraps one’s sense of self in meeting someone else’s needs. It also enables the other person to not resolve issues for themselves. It’s natural to want to move toward your loved one and help them meet their needs. Codependency, however, goes beyond this toward creating an unhealthy imbalance in the relationship.

Some of the signs of codependency to look out for will primarily be related to this imbalance that exists in the relationship and the consequences of that. These signs include the following:

• Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions and well-being of others.
• Feeling like you need to walk on eggshells to avoid conflict with the other person.
• Apologizing even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
• Tending to do more than your share, most of the time.
• Becoming hurt when your efforts aren’t recognized.
• Violating your own boundaries and doing anything for the other person, even if it violates your values or makes you uncomfortable.
• Feeling as though you’ve lost your sense of yourself.
• Needing approval and recognition.
• Needing to control others and their behavior.
• Feeling guilty for asserting yourself and meeting your own needs.
• Having difficulty identifying your own feelings and opinions.
• Having difficulty making decisions, and feeling the need to check in with the other person before acting or doing daily tasks.
• Doing anything to hold onto the relationship, and having a fear of being abandoned or alone.

Finding Healing from Codependent Behavior in Relationships

People find themselves in codependent relationships as a result of learned behavior or as a result of particular life circumstances such as caring for a loved one with addiction or other problems. A codependent relationship is one in which a pronounced imbalance of met needs exists, and one person is giving more than the other.

To overcome codependency, it’s key to becoming aware of what’s going on. It’s not just that you’re being helpful or loving toward the other person by attempting to meet their needs; you are going beyond that into unhealthy territory. You are sacrificing your well-being and sense of self.

Healing from codependency also requires taking time to invest in yourself and your needs. That includes being compassionate toward yourself and not engaging in self-critical or negative self-talk. Taking care of yourself also includes being able to say “No” when you don’t want to do something, or if it gets in the way of you meeting an important need of your own.

To overcome codependency, you can also take steps to reclaim your sense of identity by having other relationships or seeking hobbies or activities that are outside the codependent relationship. Taking time for this focus helps you to reclaim your sense of who you are outside that relationship.

Seeking Help through Christian Counseling in Richardson, Texas

Lastly, you can find healing from a codependent dynamic by unraveling those codependent tendencies through faith-based therapy in Richardson, Texas. Your counselor in Richardson will help you explore these destructive and self-defeating patterns, including the unhelpful and untruthful thoughts that shore them up. Your counselor will also help you to reclaim and get in touch with feelings that may have been buried over time in the course of the relationship.

If you are ready to start this journey, reach out to our office today at Texas Christian Counseling, Richards. We have Christian counselors in Richardson Christian Counseling, Texas who are eager to work with you through your codependency journey. There is healing ahead.