Abandonment and Neglect

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

, 2025-08-12T08:58:21+00:00August 12th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The term abandonment issues in relationships refers to an irrational fear of being deserted or rejected by those closest to you. People with abandonment issues have a hard time trusting others or believing that their partner’s feelings are sincere. This can lead to a fear of intimacy and seeing problems where none exist. Reasons People Develop Abandonment Issues In Relationships Abandonment issues in relationships most often stem from family instability growing up. Having a primary caregiver who was unpredictable and inconsistent, for example, or being severely traumatized by physical or emotional neglect or abuse. They can, however, also be rooted in attachment injuries that happen later in life, such as an unexpected divorce or breakup, being betrayed by a partner, or the death of a loved one. Common Characteristics Of People With Abandonment Issues Insecurity You feel needy and insecure, never knowing what to expect, seek constant validation and reassurance that your partner really loves you and is not going to leave you and look for signs that he or she does not. Fear of intimacy You may avoid getting too close to another person or becoming fully committed to a relationship because you associate intimacy with eventual pain and loss. Clinginess On the flip side, you may be clingy, overly attached to your partner, dependent on him or her to meet all your needs, and afraid of any distance between you. You try to micromanage every detail of your relationship and use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to make life feel safe and predictable, which it never does. Trust Issues You don’t believe anyone is reliable, have trouble trusting other people’s commitment and intentions, and are convinced everyone will eventually leave you. Even when you are in a loving, supportive relationship, you still struggle with jealousy and suspicion, [...]

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4 Causes of an Insecure Attachment Style

2024-11-05T06:57:02+00:00November 5th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’ve been in a relationship, you probably know the feeling. Perhaps your loved one isn’t texting or calling as often, and so you assume they aren’t interested in you anymore. To preempt the inevitable, you decide to break up with them before they break up with you. But to your surprise, you find that you made massive assumptions and blew the relationship up without cause. You may be struggling with an insecure attachment style. The way we respond to others in relationships is shaped considerably by past experiences. You carry fears and expectations into new situations based on what you’ve been through before. Sometimes, these fears and expectations, which comprise your attachment style, can stem from a traumatic experience, and lead you astray and into unhealthy behaviors that undermine a healthy relationship. Attachment Styles and Their Effects Your attachment style is about how you behave and relate to others in your relationships. Some attachment styles are secure, while others are insecure. A secure attachment refers to healthy behaviors you exhibit in your relationships, flowing from the quality of the bonding experiences you had with your parents or caregivers as a child. When a child feels understood and safe, and their needs are met, they develop a secure and successful attachment. Their needs were rightly interpreted and met, which helps the child develop an expectation that it can express needs, and those needs will be met. A secure attachment in childhood will often translate into an adult who trusts others, is self-confident, can express their needs, and manages conflict well. The importance of these formative relationships becomes clear when evaluating instances where one’s needs are met inconsistently or not at all, or where they experience confusing and frightening things. If needs aren’t met or are misinterpreted, it leads to [...]

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