Individual Counseling Archives | Richardson Christian Counseling

The Impacts of Birth Order

The Impacts of Birth Order

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T10:03:09+00:00March 25th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

In the 1920s, Alfred Adler, a physician and psychotherapist, developed a theory on personality. His theory emphasized the influence a community (family, friendships, and society at large) has on an individual. Through Adler’s research and interviews, he noticed many commonalities in personality traits related to the birth order of children. In particular, he noticed that the order in which a child is born in relation to their siblings can impact one’s personality traits and lifestyle. This theory, known as Birth Order Theory, categorizes personality traits based on a child’s position in the family. It identifies three main categories: firstborn, middleborn, and lastborn. It is important to remember that while some aspects of Adler’s theory might apply to certain individuals, it does not necessarily hold true for everyone. The Firstborn Child First-time parents often have strong opinions on how a child should be raised. Putting those opinions into practice while raising their first child may involve significant trial and error. These parents were learning as they were raising a child. Personality Traits of the Firstborn Child The firstborn often experiences the parents growing up with them. They are the children who give their parents experience in child-rearing. This can lead to a strict and cautious upbringing. Being raised under that dynamic, they often become success-oriented. The traits of firstborn children may include being: Mature Responsible Organized Leaders High achieving Controlling Cautious Reliable Perfectionist The firstborn child experienced having the parents to themselves and getting all the attention. This also meant that the firstborn was more than likely subjected to stricter rules. Being the oldest child sometimes means a greater expectation to set a good example for the younger siblings. The Middleborn Child The child born between the first and last is typically referred to as the middle child. Some families [...]

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Navigating Postpartum OCD

Navigating Postpartum OCD

Kate Motaung2025-03-24T14:19:21+00:00March 24th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD, Women’s Issues|

The arrival of a child is an occasion of joy and much celebrating. However, many challenges can come with pregnancy, birth, and the weeks and months that follow, including postpartum OCD.Postpartum OCD ExplainedPostpartum OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is a mental health condition that affects 3-5 percent of new mothers immediately after childbirth, with some symptoms emerging 4-6 weeks after delivery. It’s a type of anxiety disorder that’s marked by intrusive and recurring thoughts, called obsessions, along with repetitive behaviors, called compulsions, that are often deployed as ways to deal with obsessions.These obsessions and compulsions will often interfere with daily life. Some of the obsessions that a new mom may have include fear of dirt or contamination or being preoccupied with the baby’s safety and health. Likewise, they may be overwhelmed with fear of being a bad mother, as well as fear of causing harm to the baby or herself.The compulsive responses to these may cause the new mom to want symmetry and order around her and the baby. She may repeatedly look for reassurance from others about her mothering or the child’s well-being. There may be ritualistic behaviors like repeating phrases and counting and constantly checking the baby to see if they are breathing. She may repeatedly check the baby’s temperature or do excessive cleaning and sanitizing.Other signs of postpartum OCD to look out for include having difficulty sleeping or concentrating, digestive problems, or headaches. Likewise, the mom may experience feelings of dread and worry. They could also feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or trapped. Mom may begin avoidance behaviors, avoiding situations or tasks such as leaving the house with the baby, bathing the baby, or putting the baby to sleep for fear of harming them.How Postpartum OCD Affects Mom and BabyIt’s common for a new parent to have anxieties about their role [...]

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Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T10:44:46+00:00March 20th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When you think about getting older, your first thoughts may be based on fear and dread. For example, you may have concerns regarding rising healthcare costs, physical ailments, slowing down, losing loved ones, or getting left behind from the metaphorical rivers of life. However, while those concerns are real and important, elderly people often develop full, meaningful, and fun lives. One of the key strategies to creating an abundant and fulfilling life as we age is to navigate isolation and, therefore, loneliness. While we can’t skip the natural ebb and flow of life’s highs and lows, we can safeguard ourselves from loneliness by making intentional choices. Ways to Guard Against Loneliness as You Approach Aging First, the most important way to prevent loneliness involves surrounding yourself with meaningful relationships. This may mean looking at your current relationships to see if they are serving you well, or even considering moving closer to family and friends. It may also mean moving to a community where there are many others in your age range. To form friendships and relationships that are meaningful and that can stand the test of time, it’s important to make sure you know how to build new ones. So, before you make any sweeping changes in your geography, ask yourself these questions: Am I around enough people I enjoy and with whom I could begin new friendships? Do I like the people I’ve surrounded myself with? Are the people in my everyday life leading a lifestyle that allows for hobbies and time with friends or are they too busy? If my top two friends right now were to move away or, sadly, pass away, would I have others nearby with whom I could deepen friendships or familial relationships? Are there community resources where I can turn to make [...]

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How Your God-Given Internal Cues Can Stop Emotional Eating

How Your God-Given Internal Cues Can Stop Emotional Eating

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T12:17:48+00:00March 7th, 2025|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

Chronic stress, a silent predator, is a key instigator of a range of physical and mental ailments. Unfortunately, it also slyly fuels emotional eating. What happens is that we often turn to food beyond our physical hunger because we’re trying to fill a deep-seated void. God actually created that void in us to fill with Himself. Therefore, we know that food is not the answer. God has gifted us with a sophisticated system that signals when we need to nourish ourselves and when we should refrain from eating. This system helps us to effectively curb emotional eating by recognizing and responding to internal cues. Defining True Hunger The internal cues we possess to indicate hunger are natural and intuitive. Your body releases two hormones, ghrelin and leptin. Ghrelin stimulates the appetite, making your stomach feel empty and often causing it to growl. The growl or empty sensation may subside but return in 10-30 minutes as your body requires fuel. The other hormone, leptin, controls satiety. You experience the sensation of being full when fat cells release leptin, which leads you to stop eating. This hormone is released when it receives the signal from the stomach approaching fullness. Unfortunately, many individuals continue to eat even when they are already full or not hungry, making it difficult to gauge their satiety or control their eating. This can lead to physical discomfort, obesity, digestive problems, and even illness if it becomes a consistent habit. Understanding these potential health risks can be a powerful motivator to change our eating habits. Why We Eat Our Emotions If the empty feeling or stomach growl indicates hunger, why do we eat when not physically hungry? Thoughts and emotions fuel our actions. For example, you have had a stressful day at work. You arrive home, and everyone [...]

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Take This Job! Dealing with Job Burnout

Take This Job! Dealing with Job Burnout

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-02-28T06:14:00+00:00February 28th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

Although job burnout is not an official disorder recognized by the medical community, it is a condition that causes exhaustion and mood changes. According to a survey from Indeed, more than half of the participants (52%) experienced job burnout in 2021. How do you deal with job burnout without shutting down physically and emotionally? Why You Might Have Job Burnout If you work in a demanding career, you may be exhausted in every way possible: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Demand and supply can create job burnout as excellent workers try to manage a shortage of employees and meet a higher demand for their services. Even if you love your job and have always considered it a dream job, you may still reach serious job burnout. There are other causes of job burnout: Working long hours or overtime. Feeling unappreciated, unacknowledged, or used. Working a demanding job with no evident reward. Not achieving family and work balance. Stress from other areas of your life. Symptoms from a mental health condition. Feeling as if your life is out of your control. Do any of these sound familiar? You might be dealing with job burnout. How Job Burnout Affects Mental Health Job burnout takes a toll on your mental health. You can feel emotionally exhausted, depressed, angry, and irritable. You might struggle with insomnia and fatigue. Some people choose damaging coping mechanisms, like alcohol and substance use. Others turn to food for comfort and binge eat. as they spend every evening escaping into the television. You may not realize what is behind your recent mood swings or negative behaviors. Could it be that your job is causing more stress than you realize? Getting help from a licensed mental health care practitioner may break down what is subconsciously sabotaging you. They can help [...]

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Knowing the Difference Between a Big Appetite and Binge Eating in Teens

Knowing the Difference Between a Big Appetite and Binge Eating in Teens

Kate Motaung2025-02-26T05:46:53+00:00February 26th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Jackson has been feeling lost since he recently realized his teenage son Jack Junior’s famous appetite may have evolved into a binge eating disorder. As a single dad, born and raised on a ranch in Texas, surrounded mostly by cowboys who don’t talk much about emotion, Jackson is not quite sure how to even broach this topic with his son. All sorts of questions keep floating around in his head. “How did I not notice that my kid might have an eating disorder sooner?”. “How can I know for sure if my son is binge eating?”. “How and why did this develop into a disorder?”. “How much of a problem is this condition?”. With this article, we hope to answer most of Jackson’s questions and help any other parent who might find themselves in the same boat with their child. How did I not notice that my child might have an eating disorder sooner? The boy, Jack Jr., has always had a huge appetite and loves his steaks, drumsticks, potatoes, and gravy. You see, his mother, who recently passed away of cancer, was the ranch’s resident cook, so he has grown up surrounded by her rich cooking, literally eating it all up. What Jackson doesn’t know is that in recent months, Junior has endured relentless teasing at school for the way he looks with hurtful body-shaming nicknames that are thrown at him every day. Slowly he’s been finding ways to cope with the pain by seeking solace in food. It’s become his routine that when life throws too much at him, he just retreats to his room, locks the door, and starts binge eating whatever snacks he could find in the pantry or leftovers stashed in the fridge. Jack Junior can eat several bags of chips, cookies, a full chicken, [...]

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Teens, Social Media, and Body Image

Teens, Social Media, and Body Image

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-02-04T05:04:46+00:00February 3rd, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Last night, I opened Instagram and began scrolling. I had recently searched for new recipes and workouts, so my feed was filled with these types of videos. However, amid the dog and baking recipe videos, I started seeing videos about calorie counts, daily gym routines to make my waist smaller, and ways to lose weight. I hadn’t searched for that content, but it was now automatically showing up in my feed. I realized I probably wasn’t the only one who was seeing these types of videos centered on body image. I couldn’t help but wonder how exposure to this content might impact a person’s self-esteem and body image, especially for a teenager. What is body image? Body image refers to the beliefs and perceptions we have about our own bodies – how we view our appearance, like our size, shape, height, and weight. A positive body image involves feeling confident in your appearance and accepting the natural changes your body goes through as you age (e.g., menopause, fluctuating weight). Negative body image is the belief that there is something wrong with your appearance. The National Eating Disorders Association defines negative body image as “a distorted perception of one’s shape and physical appearance. Negative body image (or body dissatisfaction) involves feelings of shame, anxiety, and self-consciousness.” Those who struggle with negative body image often find themselves frequently doing body checking (monitoring their physical appearance via scales, mirrors, or other methods), constantly comparing their appearance to others, or going to extreme lengths to change their appearance. Those who experience high levels of body dissatisfaction are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and developing eating disorders. Negative Body Image and Social Media For individuals who struggle with their body image, social media can make these negative beliefs [...]

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Teenage Depression is Real: 3 Subtle Signs to Watch for in Your Teen

Teenage Depression is Real: 3 Subtle Signs to Watch for in Your Teen

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-01-29T10:00:45+00:00January 29th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

As the number of instances of teenage- depression continues to grow in the United States, the importance of addressing this issue has become increasingly clear. In a recent study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), researchers found that 17% of teens (ages 12-17) experienced symptoms of depression. The Importance of Recognizing Teenage Depression Supporting teens on their mental health journey has emerged as a key focus for parents, educators, and society, prompting us to explore the most effective ways to help and empower the next generation. For parents, a crucial first step is recognizing the key signs of teenage depression. Depression is more than just feeling sad. It is a serious mental health condition that affects your teen’s mood, behavior, and ability to function at school, at home, or with their friends. It can be difficult to tell if your teen is depressed because many depression symptoms are also common adolescent behaviors, like appetite changes or lack of energy. However, with depression, these symptoms are usually more severe, and they last for a longer period (weeks or months at a time). How to Spot Teenage Depression For a teen struggling with depression, they might feel sad for weeks or even months at a time. Their mood does not seem to improve, or they do not “brighten up” when good things happen. To them, it might be hard for them to remember a time when they weren’t sad. They might have trouble concentrating in class, may not be interested in their hobbies, have difficulty sleeping, or sleep too much. Parents need to notice if their teen is acting differently. Did your teen previously hang out with their friends, but now they spend all their free time in their room alone? Or does your teen who was [...]

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Setting Professional Boundaries at Work

Setting Professional Boundaries at Work

Cyndi Kay Green2025-01-17T09:09:08+00:00January 17th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

Setting healthy boundaries at work can be challenging due to technology and ever-changing workplaces. Setting a limit that defines a work relationship is more complex than doing the same thing in personal relationships. People are quick to take offense when they feel as though they are being disrespected. Professional boundaries are important in creating a healthy and balanced work setting. …and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. – 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, NIV Professional boundaries can be for physical as well as emotional reasons. People do not want to be asked to do more than they feel capable of, nor do they want to be left out of office decisions. Mental boundaries can protect values and ethics. They protect us in our responsibilities as well as protecting our values. Identifying and setting boundaries empowers us to share our abilities to do a good job with the assigned tasks. This will also help us learn to manage our time and complete projects on time. When professional boundaries are clear the chance of them being overstepped is reduced. Expecting the workplace to be void of engagement can lead to work burnout. Proper boundaries can encourage minimal engagement while expecting productivity. How to Set Professional Boundaries at Work Many strategies can help set professional boundaries at work. The main goal of boundaries is to keep the work relationships healthy and productive. Chose information wisely Knowing your coworkers can be beneficial. However, there is a limit on how much personal information needs to be shared outside of the home. Some things like hobbies and [...]

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4 Causes of an Insecure Attachment Style

4 Causes of an Insecure Attachment Style

Kate Motaung2024-11-05T06:57:02+00:00November 5th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’ve been in a relationship, you probably know the feeling. Perhaps your loved one isn’t texting or calling as often, and so you assume they aren’t interested in you anymore. To preempt the inevitable, you decide to break up with them before they break up with you. But to your surprise, you find that you made massive assumptions and blew the relationship up without cause. You may be struggling with an insecure attachment style. The way we respond to others in relationships is shaped considerably by past experiences. You carry fears and expectations into new situations based on what you’ve been through before. Sometimes, these fears and expectations, which comprise your attachment style, can stem from a traumatic experience, and lead you astray and into unhealthy behaviors that undermine a healthy relationship. Attachment Styles and Their Effects Your attachment style is about how you behave and relate to others in your relationships. Some attachment styles are secure, while others are insecure. A secure attachment refers to healthy behaviors you exhibit in your relationships, flowing from the quality of the bonding experiences you had with your parents or caregivers as a child. When a child feels understood and safe, and their needs are met, they develop a secure and successful attachment. Their needs were rightly interpreted and met, which helps the child develop an expectation that it can express needs, and those needs will be met. A secure attachment in childhood will often translate into an adult who trusts others, is self-confident, can express their needs, and manages conflict well. The importance of these formative relationships becomes clear when evaluating instances where one’s needs are met inconsistently or not at all, or where they experience confusing and frightening things. If needs aren’t met or are misinterpreted, it leads to [...]

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