Individual Counseling

5 Tips for Successful Aging

2024-10-29T15:06:20+00:00April 28th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When we’re in our twenties, life seems long and we feel invincible. As we start to approach middle age, the realization starts to dawn that we are no longer on the right side of youth – our skin starts to sag and wrinkles appear seemingly out of nowhere. How did it happen so quickly, we might ask? What is the secret to successful aging? As Christians, we know that beauty is fleeting (Proverbs 31:30a) and that it is our inner appearance that counts before God, but it can take some time to truly accept the fact that no amount of money or effort can win back our younger selves. We need to preach to ourselves the truth of Paul to Timothy, that “godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:8, NIV) Our focus should be on something deeper: “inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16, NIV This does not mean we should not look after our bodies well, but that we need to truly embrace what it means to age gracefully. Here are five tips for successful aging: Get the basics of successful aging right. We all know what we need to do to be healthy – get the right nutrition for our bodies, and exercise regularly. While we might have been able to coast through our earlier years without paying heed to this advice, successful aging depends on getting these core lifestyle pillars in place. The good news is that it’s never too late to start. Begin by incorporating small healthy habits into your lifestyle. Try less sugar in your tea, or a walk around the block daily, for instance, and then work on growing these successes. Challenge yourself. The people [...]

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Anxiety and Perfection: Lessons from Martha in the Bible

2024-10-29T15:06:31+00:00January 19th, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

One of the truly amazing things about the Bible is its relevance to our lives today. As we read the Word, we confront people dealing with a myriad of struggles – dysfunctional families, infertility, worry, abuse, neglect, and death. Over and over again, the Bible lets us into the inner lives of people who faced the same kinds of things we do, such as anxiety and perfection. Another incredible thing is our ability to glean more than one lesson from the stories we read. The account of Mary and Martha is well known. Found in Luke 10, these six verses have been preached on, used as the basis of Bible studies, and as the backbone for devotionals for years. Martha welcomes Jesus into her home. Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” – Luke 10:38-42, ESV Martha is often painted as a distracted grumbler. She is so focused on the food and appearances and keeping up with cultural norms she misses the point. She tells Jesus to rebuke her sister publicly (versus doing so herself in private) and sees the censure turned back on her! And yet, maybe we miss something in Martha’s actions. Maybe we are quick [...]

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How to Recognize Gaslighting Signs in Friendship

2024-09-27T10:23:13+00:00January 14th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Healthy friendships are an integral part of our lives. They help us learn and provide support when we need it. But an unhealthy friendship can exacerbate stress, weaken our sense of self, and contribute to low confidence. When we discover that a friend is gaslighting, it indicates that he or she has unhealthy behavior patterns. What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse where one person attempts to exert control over the other person. This control is usually at the expense of causing the other person to doubt himself or herself. It also can, over time, make the victim struggle to know what is real and what is not. This form of manipulation exists in marriages, romantic relationships, and workplaces, but it can be trickier to identify in a friendship. People tend to assume their friends want what is best for them. Yet if a friend is already unhealthy or grew up in an emotionally abusive family, he may not even realize he is manipulative. You need to recognize the gaslighting signs within a friend context; you’ll want to know how to spot the signs, what to do about them, and how to make changes to your friendships in the future. Common Signs Some gaslighting signs are easier to see than others. For example, if a friend tells you that another friend said something negative about you or painted you in a light that’s outside that other friend’s character, pay attention. Your friend who told you that may be gaslighting you. Why? If she can get you to believe that your other friend isn’t honest or does not think rightly about you, you may pull away emotionally from the other friend and draw nearer to your friend who is gaslighting you. It’s a subtle technique [...]

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Individual Counseling: Finding Joy Again

2024-10-29T15:06:41+00:00December 1st, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Sometimes life hands you a bucket (or an entire tree) of sour lemons, and you are desperate to find joy again. Times When Individual Counseling Might Help Consider these examples where individual counseling might be appropriate: You don’t get into the college of your dreams and feel like you are suddenly wandering in the wilderness, unsure of where to go next. The person you think you are in love with and want to marry dumps you out of the blue. You find out a parent or best friend is terminally ill. You find out that one of your closest friends has been spreading rumors about you for years. You are in a season of medical testing, infertility, or recently felt the heartbreak of a miscarriage. You are in a season of “new” that is proving to be much more difficult than anticipated. You have a new marriage, new baby, or new job, and did not realize how depleting and emotionally rocky this new season would be. You are blindsided at work and find out that your position is being terminated. You are in a season of disappointment in the friendship department. Maybe you don’t feel like you have close friends, or you have recently been left out by your close-knit circle and don’t know how to move forward. You feel like you just can’t catch up on bills, no matter how hard you work. You feel distant with God right now. Maybe you aren’t sure how to praise Him in the storms of life. You feel overwhelmed with emotions because one of your children just received a devastating diagnosis. You feel like a failure because one of your children is dealing with anger and rage like you do. You might feel like your life has become a nonstop cycle [...]

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The Unexpected Side Effects of Depression and What You Can Do

2024-10-29T15:06:49+00:00November 18th, 2022|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

  If you or someone you love lives with the effects of depression, you know that it is far more than occasional feelings of sadness. People often use the term depression casually to explain a wide array of feelings. Depression, however, is a medical diagnosis that goes beyond generalized feelings of sadness or being down. Even if you learn and understand what to expect, there can be some things that surprise you. While they are not the direct symptoms, these things can be side effects associated with the depression you or your loved one lives with each day. Understanding these things and what you can do to help will make the effects of depression feel less overwhelming so you can better manage it each day. Expected things associated with depression Depression, sometimes referred to as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, is a mood disorder that causes symptoms that can affect how you feel, think, and behave. These things can affect your daily life, as they are persistent for weeks, months, or even years. The most common things symptoms are: Persistent sadness or feeling empty: This is the most common thing people think of with depression. It is often described as a generalized feeling of being sad, down, or blue. The key here is that it is persistent over time and affects daily life. Loss of interest in relationships and things that were once enjoyed: People living with depression can exhibit a lack of interest in things like hobbies or activities they used to enjoy. It can even carry over into relationships, losing interest in connecting with people they care about. Negative feelings: A variety of negative feelings can be present. Things like pessimism, melancholy, irritability, worthlessness, and insecurity are a few common struggles for people with depression. Not [...]

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Boosting Mental Wellness with a Morning Routine

2024-09-27T10:24:03+00:00October 6th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Sticking to a routine can bring normalcy and comfort even in the most chaotic times. A morning routine can boost your mental wellness if you address the different aspects of your life and approach it in a state of peace. Knowing you have accomplished so much first thing in the morning sets the tone for your day. You can start your workday or walk out of the house with your head held high in self-confidence. Your morning routine. You may have recently seen headlines covering the morning routines of celebrities and successful businesspeople and wondered what the hype was all about. It is not hype. Successful people have used their morning routines to prepare them for the day, work on themselves, and get a jump on a new venture. Jim Rohn, Tim Robbins, Tim Ferris, Richard Branson, Oprah, and many celebrities, authors, politicians, and others have used a morning routine to ground themselves and shift their mindset. The following are some ideas you can add to your routine to improve your mental wellness. What sticks out to you? Create a short list of activities to get started. Your routine can be as quick or as long as you want, depending on your schedule. Move your body. Exercising first thing in the morning might sound like a challenging task when you just forced yourself out of bed. But gentle stretching, yoga, or walking will get the blood and oxygen moving through your muscles, improve your heart health, and clear your mind. When you exercise, the neurotransmitters in the brain send out an overabundance of serotonin that will leave you feeling happy and accomplished. The physical benefits of moving your body go even further than mental wellness. By working out, you are burning calories, lowering cortisol in the body, lubricating the [...]

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Practical Advice on How to Manage Anger

2024-10-29T15:06:57+00:00September 27th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you are an angry person or know of someone who is angry most of the time, this article contains practical advice from an experienced professional therapist on how to manage anger that may help. To start and establish a baseline of understanding it is important to know that no person is born angry. We all have a range of temperaments and varying levels of tolerance. An angry response may seem to come more naturally to some people who seem to show from an early age that they have thinner skin and that they find that the provocations of life push them into red-eyed anger very easily. Others appear born with a more balanced temperament and find it easier to hold an even keel in the same situations. However, as anger is understood to be an emotional response, the degree of response is often seen as something that is learned. The good news here is that you can unlearn destructive behavior and relearn to act constructively in the same circumstances. No matter how thin your skin is. This is possible by us putting in the work it takes to displace unhealthy habits with good ones. Our relationship with anger was mostly taught to us through observing our family environment. If we grew up in a home that viewed anger as something to be neither seen nor heard, but rather that we could express anxiety, moodiness, or depressive symptoms then often we used behavior linked to these conditions to express our anger. However, the opposite is equally unhealthy. Some family cultures encourage the idea that anger needs to be expressed so that it does not fester. Studies demonstrate that losing your temper is like adding fuel to the fire and your anger increases, along with your level of aggression. Neither [...]

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Learning How to Stop Worrying

2024-10-29T15:07:08+00:00September 23rd, 2022|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Worry, anxiety, and fear of the future are common, if not universal, human experiences. Everyone worries. Whether it’s your finances, your professional performance, the safety of your children, or the security of your future, there is always almost always something in your life that makes it difficult to stop worrying. However, the fact that everyone experiences worry doesn’t mean that everyone experiences it equally. For some, worry is a passing thought or momentary blip on their emotional radar. While, for others, worry and anxiety are a near-constant part of life. When it becomes a persistent part of your mental and emotional life, worry steals your time, attention, peace, and joy. So, if worry seems to be your perpetual companion, always whispering in your ear about all the things that might someday go wrong, what can you do about it? Is it possible to learn how to stop worrying? This article will answer this question by exploring the impact of worry on daily life, providing a list of self-management strategies for worry and anxiety, and discussing the relationship between faith and anxiety. How Can Excessive Worry Impact Your Life? Excessive worry keeps a person in constant fear of the future and things outside their ability to control. When ongoing, this state of stress and fear has the potential to negatively affect not just your emotional life, but also your physical and mental health. Worry robs you of your present joy. You were designed to live in the here-and-now. When worry consumes your thoughts, you are likely too busy thinking about what might happen someday in the future, or what might be happening somewhere else, to pay attention to what is happening right where you are, right in the present moment. To illustrate this, in Matthew 6:27 (ESV), Jesus asks his [...]

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