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Grief doesn’t always look the same, nor does it affect a person at the time you might assume it would. Often, the expectation is that grief sets in once you’ve experienced loss of some kind, but the reality is that the grieving process can and does occur earlier. Anticipatory grief is a form of grief that settles before the loss occurs. This can make it hard to process, and it can even result in conflict with loved ones. Why We Grieve Before Loss Happens It can be hard to wrap your head around this idea. Why would someone grieve before they have to, before their loss has taken place? While it seems counterintuitive, it does make sense. Anticipatory grief is more common than you would imagine, and if you’re experiencing it, know that you’re not alone. Other people have also found themselves mourning loss prior to it occurring. One of the reasons why anticipatory grief occurs is that it’s a way for your heart and for your mind to start making sense of a loss that’s on the horizon, and to start processing what that loss means. It can be helpful to think of it as a way we try to prepare ourselves for the worst-case scenario. Anticipatory grief is also a way to cope with the coming loss. Anticipatory grief isn’t necessarily a replacement for the grief that might set in once the loss occurs definitively. It’s a real grief that simply sets in ahead of time. Some situations where anticipatory grief can set in include when you’re dealing with a loved one’s deteriorating health, when your relationship is heading toward a breakup or divorce, and when dealing with issues such as terminal illness. Examples of Anticipatory Grief In talking about anticipatory loss, it’s a form of grief that [...]

Grief is a strange and often unpredictable thing. Grief may set in soon after you experience the loss of a loved one, leading you into a maze of emotions and thoughts about your loved one and what the loss means. In some instances, grief sets in before the loss takes place, and that’s called anticipatory grief. For various reasons, grief may also get delayed, only setting in weeks, months, or perhaps even years after the loss occurs. Grappling with Delayed Grief Delayed grief, which is also sometimes referred to as delayed bereavement or as postponed grief, is when the onset of the process of grief happens later and doesn’t take place or coincide with the loss itself. Delayed grief, when it eventually surfaces, is often overwhelming and intense. The flood of thoughts, emotions, and memories that had been held back burst the dam and come flooding in, making it an intense experience. Often, because of the myriad thoughts, emotions, and experiences that haven’t been processed, when delayed grief sets in, those unprocessed emotions that have accumulated over time may produce a disproportionate reaction. One’s reaction to the loss may seem disproportionate, and this can lead to distress and a sense of confusion for the bereaved and the people around them. Delayed grief has much the same symptoms as other forms of grief, and these include physical manifestations like disrupted sleep patterns, headaches, and physical pain, and changes in appetite. What could serve as a trigger for delayed grief surfacing are things such as anniversaries, milestones, and other significant dates that could serve as reminders of a loved one and of the loss. If a person experiences similar life events that mirror the circumstances in which the loss occurred, that can also trigger the delayed grief to manifest. Going through [...]