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What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-08-12T08:58:21+00:00August 12th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The term abandonment issues in relationships refers to an irrational fear of being deserted or rejected by those closest to you. People with abandonment issues have a hard time trusting others or believing that their partner’s feelings are sincere. This can lead to a fear of intimacy and seeing problems where none exist. Reasons People Develop Abandonment Issues In Relationships Abandonment issues in relationships most often stem from family instability growing up. Having a primary caregiver who was unpredictable and inconsistent, for example, or being severely traumatized by physical or emotional neglect or abuse. They can, however, also be rooted in attachment injuries that happen later in life, such as an unexpected divorce or breakup, being betrayed by a partner, or the death of a loved one. Common Characteristics Of People With Abandonment Issues Insecurity You feel needy and insecure, never knowing what to expect, seek constant validation and reassurance that your partner really loves you and is not going to leave you and look for signs that he or she does not. Fear of intimacy You may avoid getting too close to another person or becoming fully committed to a relationship because you associate intimacy with eventual pain and loss. Clinginess On the flip side, you may be clingy, overly attached to your partner, dependent on him or her to meet all your needs, and afraid of any distance between you. You try to micromanage every detail of your relationship and use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to make life feel safe and predictable, which it never does. Trust Issues You don’t believe anyone is reliable, have trouble trusting other people’s commitment and intentions, and are convinced everyone will eventually leave you. Even when you are in a loving, supportive relationship, you still struggle with jealousy and suspicion, [...]

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9 Signs of Social Anxiety to Watch For

9 Signs of Social Anxiety to Watch For

Melissa Plantz, Kate Motaung2025-08-09T08:36:17+00:00August 11th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Social anxiety can keep you from participating in life. You may experience signs of social anxiety at the thought of attending a social event or participating in a social situation. Outings such as grocery or Christmas shopping can feel paralyzing to you. In some cases, people suffering from social anxiety experience panic attacks. Signs of Social Anxiety to Look For Social anxiety will isolate you even from your closest friends. You may have to miss important functions and celebrations or turn down opportunities for advancement. This type of anxiety can display itself in physical and mental symptoms. Become aware of the signs of social anxiety. If you experience the following signs, speak to a counselor about ways to overcome your anxiety. You can learn to reframe your thoughts and change your emotions and behavior. Fear or Dread Over a Social Event If you have ever felt dread while anticipating a social event, you are not alone. Roughly 7% of adults and 9% of adolescents had social anxiety disorder in the past year, according to the National Institute for Mental Health. Women are more at risk than men of the signs of social anxiety. The fear creeps over you, and before you realize it, the physical manifestations begin. Your mind races with negative thoughts. Your hands may tremble. Anticipation brings about fear or dread. Low Self-Esteem You can lose your self-esteem when you feel uncomfortable around others. You may dislike yourself in response to believing that others don’t like you. It can make it harder to join functions when you feel you don’t measure up. Self-Consciousness You may become hypercritical of yourself. You may compare yourself to others in appearance, body shape, weight, size, intelligence, beauty, career, or relationships. You fear people judging or making fun of you. You might [...]

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Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-07-26T07:10:26+00:00July 28th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Relationships don’t come ready-made out of the box. There’s a lot of growth, negotiation, mutual understanding, and accommodation that happens to make a relationship flourish. These skills aren’t obvious, and not everyone has them from the outset. However, we all can learn, and that capacity for growth means that we can improve our relationships. One avenue for growth is through seeking couples counseling. There are many reasons an individual might consider seeing a counselor. When two people begin a relationship, each with their own unique personalities and histories, the potential for misunderstandings, conflict, and hurt increases. Going to counseling as a couple can help you navigate these kinds of challenges and build a healthier partnership between you. What is Christian couples counseling? Christian couples counseling is a form of talk therapy where two people are guided by a professional with training to help them navigate the many thorny issues that often come up in relationships. The counselor has many years of specialized training to help them understand the dynamics of human relationships and to help you understand your situation better. When you go for counseling, it’s a partnership relationship. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor’s approach and that you trust them. Without that trust, it’s hard to undergo the process, putting in the work that takes time before you see its fruit. This therapeutic alliance is important for getting the most out of your sessions. Couples counseling addresses a wide range of issues, but one of the important things is to come with the willingness to change and grow. Being open to the counseling process helps you receive what your counselor has for you, whether it’s encouragement and pointing out your strengths as a couple or highlighting unhealthy patterns of behavior. Your counselor wants to help [...]

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Gen X and Aging

Gen X and Aging

Kate Motaung2025-07-08T09:09:53+00:00July 8th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Gen Xers know that they’re the best generation. If you don’t think so, just ask one. With waterfall bangs that stood higher than any generation before or after and music they claim to be the best, there is compelling evidence that the coolest crew to ever rock flannel was born roughly between the mid-1960s and mid-1980s. Gen X has always held a unique place in cultural history. The films that shaped the generation were adventurous with rebellious anthems as soundtracks. The stories were arguably a little bizarre, at least by the standards set by the generation’s predecessors, but who can compete with a DeLorean time machine and an extraterrestrial who just really wanted to phone home? It’s Hip to Age If you’re a card-carrying member of Generation X, keep reading. With everything about Gen X that there is to celebrate, there are plenty of reasons to Rock the Casbah. One thing you’re probably not celebrating is your aging body and saying goodbye to your youth. If you’re like the millions of other people in Gen X, you’re probably feeling your age. Your Moonwalk is long gone, and these days, you count it a blessing to stay awake long enough to see what happens to Ferris. Your eyesight is fuzzier than a pirated VHS copy of The Lost Boys, and you can’t even imagine eating pizza after six like you used to. Back in the day, you were the kid who figured out life over a bowl of Cap’n Crunch and a Choose Your Own Adventure book. You survived Y2K, mullets, and all that hairspray. It was once said that aging is better than the alternative. Just because you’ve outlived the Cabbage Patch Kid craze doesn’t mean that you’re celebrating the fact that you are now older than those actors [...]

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Coping with Grief as a Couple

Coping with Grief as a Couple

Kate Motaung2025-07-02T08:47:01+00:00July 2nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Many events in life cause stress, and one of those events is loss. Loss affects us in profound ways, and we can’t always anticipate how we’ll respond to it. Grief and loss are inevitable on this side of heaven, and as a fact of life, that means we need to be equipped to cope well with it. Whether you are single or in a committed relationship with someone, coping with grief is a useful skill that we need to nurture. Coping with grief requires understanding what it is, how it functions, and how it affects individuals. When you are in a relationship with another person and you experience a joint loss, you need to understand how both you and your partner are coping. The stress of grief can affect how you relate to each other. It’s possible for grief and your response to it to damage your relationship. Understanding Grief Grief is the emotional and psychological response to loss of any kind. Grief can be intense, disrupting how you think and function in daily life. It stirs up many complex emotions such as sadness, regret, anger, peace, and weariness. Grief is brought on by many things, including bereavement through the death of a loved one or family pet, the termination of a relationship, betrayal, or the loss of a cherished goal or dream, for example. What makes one person grieve might not affect another person at all. One’s response to loss will depend on many things, including the nature of the relationship, one’s personality, the nature of the loss, as well as what caused it, and the mental and emotional resources one has to deal with the loss. Grief is often explained as unfolding in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. These stages depict what many people [...]

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Helping Children with ADHD Thrive in Church

Helping Children with ADHD Thrive in Church

Stephanie Kramer2025-06-28T09:11:27+00:00June 30th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured|

Children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) bring a lot of life into the children’s ministry. Their high energy, creative minds, and natural curiosity can be a delight to teach. That doesn’t mean that these balls of energy don’t face challenges in traditional ministry settings. Many kids with ADHD struggle to sit still during sermons and have a hard time focusing on structured lessons. Children with ADHD in Church As a result of these challenges, these precious children may feel out of place or discouraged in the church environment, the very place they should feel the most accepted and loved. There are a few strategies that a ministry can leverage to ensure that the church meets the needs of all children. After all, ministry is meant to reach all people, even those who may pose a challenge. Create a structured (but flexible) environment Children (and adults) with ADHD often struggle with unpredictability. A clear, consistent routine helps them feel secure and in control. To help students with ADHD feel secure, stick to an established schedule during your children’s church or Sunday school lessons to help create predictability. However, be sure to allow for some flexibility, such as a movement break when the wiggles start getting the best of them. Incorporate movement Speaking of the wiggles… Sitting still for extended periods can be tough for kids with ADHD. Help engage their minds by encouraging movement throughout your sessions. This can help them focus on the central point of the lesson. Incorporate activities such as role-playing, using hand motions during worship songs, or allowing kids time to walk and talk to each other during discussions. Include hands-on crafts and activities to help them refocus. Offer concise instructions Kids with ADHD may struggle to process multi-step instructions. Breaking directions down into smaller, [...]

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Dealing with Anxiety as a Teenager: How to Help Your Teen

Dealing with Anxiety as a Teenager: How to Help Your Teen

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-06-19T11:28:59+00:00June 19th, 2025|Anxiety, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

We all deal with anxiety in one form or another. Some people get anxious around animals or certain insects, while others respond with anxiety to wide-open or populated spaces. Public speaking is a source of anxiety for many, while for others it’s heights or talking with strangers. Anxiety, whether mild or in its more severe forms, seems to be a part of our lives. One of the challenges that teens face is dealing with anxiety. There are things specific to that phase of life that can induce anxiety. It’s essential that teens get the support they need to handle anxiety in their lives, particularly if the anxiety is severe and persistent enough to disrupt their day-to-day activities. Anxiety and Teenagers: Some Causes of Anxiety Anxiety is an emotional and physiological response to something stressful and perceived as a threat. Each individual will have particular things that feel threatening to them. That’s one reason it isn’t always helpful to tell someone that they shouldn’t be anxious about a given situation. It’s not as though one is making a conscious choice to feel threatened, and it’s not an easy thing to turn that fear off. Each teen is unique, and what makes them anxious won’t necessarily look the same as for other people. In the same way, their anxiety may stem from a combination of factors, and understanding the underlying reasons for their anxiety can better equip you to walk alongside a teen to guide them through anxiety. Some of the common reasons why a teen may feel anxious include social and relationship concerns. Between having difficulties forming or maintaining peer relationships, navigating social hierarchies, the perils and vulnerabilities of dating, and handling their social media presence, many things can make a teen anxious. Additionally, tension or conflict in the family [...]

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Why Go for Premarital Counseling?

Why Go for Premarital Counseling?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-06-18T06:16:43+00:00June 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Are you thinking of getting married? Or married again? Before you make that wonderful commitment in the presence of God, it would be wise to go for premarital counseling as a couple. Facilitated by a professional and experienced counselor, you and your future spouse will be able to talk through critical issues and obtain guidance on navigating conflict or potential obstacles to a successful relationship. Biblical premarital counseling in Texas will help you and your future spouse to prepare your hearts and minds for the type of marriage that God intended and in which you both can flourish and grow together. What does God say about marriage? Unlike other contractual arrangements made by human beings, marriage is God’s institution. It is His idea and His design. The primary purpose of marriage, like the purpose of our lives in general, is actually to glorify God. It is supposed to be a living picture of Christ’s relationship with the church – a relationship that is characterized by sacrificial love as each spouse seeks the good of the other above himself or herself. Our security, happiness, and other goals for marriage are still important but they are secondary and subject to this first goal. God has designed marriage to function best according to the rules He has established and laid out for us in His Word. He is clear that it is intended to last a lifetime. Therefore, we should take marriage seriously, and find out what it requires of us. We should not rush into it without careful consideration or counsel from other trustworthy and wise Christians. The Bible acknowledges that the world and our relationships have been marred by sin and that sometimes marriages are severed by death or divorce. God makes provision for people to remarry in certain cases; [...]

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Advice for Teens and Parents: How to Make the Most of Your Counseling Experience

Advice for Teens and Parents: How to Make the Most of Your Counseling Experience

Sarah Gibson, Kate Motaung2025-06-04T05:27:57+00:00June 4th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When it comes to counseling, I have often found that families are not sure of what to expect. I’ve heard from teens, “Are you going to tell my parents what we talk about?” “What do we talk about?” “Is it just going to be the two of us meeting?” On the other hand, what I’ve heard from parents is, “Will I need to be at every session?” “Are you going to let me know what you discuss with them?” “How often will we have sessions?” These are all understandable concerns, and I see where both teens and their parents are coming from. For those new to counseling, it can feel confusing, intimidating, and even nerve-wracking, especially for teens. Teens might worry they’re in trouble or feel like they’ve done something wrong, while parents may struggle with feelings of guilt or uncertainty about how to support their child. That’s why I believe it’s important to set clear expectations from the start, so both teens and parents can make the most of their counseling journey. The First Session The first session, often called an intake appointment, is the initial meeting between the parent, teen, and counselor. Each counselor may handle this session a bit differently, but here’s what you can generally expect from how I conduct mine. Both parents are welcome to attend with their teen, though only one parent or legal guardian is required to be present. At the start of the session, I’ll go over the informed consent form, which outlines important details such as my qualifications, scheduling and cancellation policies, payment information, and confidentiality. During the first session, I always discuss the importance of confidentiality in the counseling space. Confidentiality is the ethical and legal duty of a counselor to protect a client’s private information and not share [...]

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OCD Help: Take a Vacation from Your Worries

OCD Help: Take a Vacation from Your Worries

Stephanie Kramer2025-05-23T06:59:34+00:00May 23rd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD, Relationship Issues|

Ever thought about taking a vacation from your brain? One of the most challenging aspects of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is the belief that focusing on a problem is necessary to prevent it from spiraling out of control. This is a common misconception. In reality, obsessing over a problem doesn’t grant you control; it often increases your anxiety and perpetuates the OCD cycle. Without OCD help, this can leave you worn out and exhausted. It’s important to realize that taking a break from a problem doesn’t mean you’re ignoring it or letting it go unresolved. Just as your body needs rest to function properly, so does your mind. Allowing yourself a mental break can provide you with clarity and perspective, enabling you to approach the problem with a fresh, calmer mindset later on. OCD Help: Take a Mental Vacation Imagine lounging on a beach, sipping a cool drink, and feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. The waves gently lap at the shore, and your biggest concern is whether to take a dip in the ocean or finish your book. Sounds like a dream, right? Now imagine the same scenario but without the constant, nagging thoughts that usually follow you everywhere, turning even a relaxing vacation into a mental marathon. What if you could take a vacation – not just from work or your daily routine – but from your worries? For those with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), that sounds like a fantasy. Here’s the good news: you can do it, even if you’re not actually lying on a beach! Here are some fun and practical methods of OCD help to give your brain a much-needed break from its usual obsessive chatter. The Mental Suitcase Before any vacation, you pack a suitcase, right? So, why not do the same [...]

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