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Reconciling Family Rifts Between Parents and Adult Children

Reconciling Family Rifts Between Parents and Adult Children

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:22:39+00:00January 23rd, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Family rifts are difficult for everyone involved. Estrangement places strain on not only the parent and adult child but also other family members, such as grown siblings. For example, if you and your oldest son are estranged, anger and resentment may trickle down to your other children, in-laws, and grandchildren. Sometimes, family rifts are unavoidable based on past behavior. Other times, an emotional distance builds as each person lives their life separately until there is no common ground. In these times, we need to seek God’s help and take small steps toward reconciliation. Reconciling family rifts. The strength of your family may rest on how you reconcile family rifts. Make the first move. Whether you are the parent or the adult child in a family rift, you may need to make the first move toward reconciliation. Opening the lines of communication might be the starting point to breaking the silence. It is time to unblock your loved one from social media and start answering their calls and texts. Take the first step and send a message. Find something you agree on. Common ground may be enough to place you back into neutral territory. Perhaps you can agree on an event for a grandchild or offer tickets or pictures of something your loved one cares about. Often, it is uniting over a common issue or topic that brings family back together. Find the one thing that puts you front and center and make the first move. Keep pride out of the conversation. It is easy to blame the other person for any family rifts. Yet, pride cannot enter the conversation if you desire a reconciliation. Pride can keep you from admitting your part in the distance. It can also keep you from accepting an apology or moving forward if you [...]

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Stress Management Tips to Help You Stay Healthy and Productive

Stress Management Tips to Help You Stay Healthy and Productive

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T10:30:29+00:00January 9th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Life doesn’t always come neatly packaged and easy to handle. We often encounter situations we never planned for, and even the things we anticipated can sometimes overwhelm us. When we are in a situation that we don’t feel we can manage or control, that produces the stress response, requiring stress management. Stress is how we react when we feel under pressure or threatened, and that differs from individual to individual. Some people relish a tight deadline, while others break out in hives if they start to feel like they’re falling behind schedule. Stress is an everyday part of life, and when you encounter it, you must have strategies in place to handle stress in a healthy way that doesn’t diminish your productivity or health. Some common sources of stress. People are wired differently, so what stresses one person out, or an area of life that causes stress for one person doesn’t register for another person. Some of the more common sources of stress include: Work. This includes the nature of the work itself. For instance, some jobs like law enforcement or in the medical field have a high intensity. Additionally, if you have too much work to do, and not enough institutional support, or you’re on a tight deadline, that too is a significant source of stress. Being underemployed or unemployed can also cause stress, as can the threat of losing your job. Relationship strain. If your relationships are strained or mired in conflict, this too can cause a lot of stress. Healthy relationships are a key predictor of one’s sense of fulfillment, and strain in relationships often results in a diminished sense of flourishing Finances. Not having the resources you need to meet your obligations can be a huge mental burden and a source of pressure. Illness. Whether [...]

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Grieving Over the Loss of a Parent

Grieving Over the Loss of a Parent

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T10:30:24+00:00December 28th, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

One thing that most people crave is a sense of stability, to know that their world has some constants that allow them to make sense of the world and themselves. That sense of constancy may come from the house we live in, the routines we adhere to, or the people we have around us. Few relationships frame our existence quite the same way as that between a parent and child, which is why the loss of a parent and the grieving that follows is so significant. A child often comes into the world with parents around them, and these are the first people that the child knows. Their family forms the first relationships they have, and those relationships shape them in profound ways as they grow older and form relationships with other people. The loss of a parent likely marks the end of one’s longest-standing relationships, and the grief from that loss will mark a person for the rest of their life, and it can be complicated in various ways. How our grief works. You may have heard about the 5 stages of grief before. It’s something that Elizabeth Kübler Ross wrote about in her book “On Death and Dying”. In that book, she noted that while everyone can grieve differently, there are some commonalities in how grief works for different people. Grief can be divided into five stages that describe certain feelings experienced during grief. Kübler Ross’ observations came from years of working with terminally ill people. The five stages of grief are as follows: Denial. One can pretend that the loss they’ve experienced isn’t real. It may simply be too overwhelming to process and acknowledge at that moment. Anger. Feelings of anger can mask other emotions that you may be carrying at that moment. The anger may [...]

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Child Counseling for Bullying or Divorce

Child Counseling for Bullying or Divorce

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T10:30:11+00:00November 30th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Adults often acknowledge that people are all different. And by people, we mean other adults. Children are too often the recipients of standardized approaches that do not recognize that they are individuals, with diverse ways of seeing and reacting to the world around them. Child counseling can help shed light. The reasons each person has for requiring counseling are different. Having made that point, it is important to also notice there are experiences after which many children do benefit from counseling. If your child has experienced any of the following or is currently experiencing them, then it is prudent to consider whether the effects, fallout, and required healing would be assisted through the facilitation of a trained professional. Child counseling after bullying. Bullying affects everyone involved; the people who are the victims of bullies, the bullies themselves, and those who witness the bullying. Bullying sometimes even occurs in a child’s school friendship group and isn’t picked up in many metrics that measure poor outcomes. Bullying is a common experience for those who also abuse substances, struggle with mental health, or even consider suicide, experience depression and anxiety, have increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, experience a change in their sleep or their eating patterns, and more. Those who are bullied are likely to experience a drop in their schoolwork and participation, and in time are increasingly likely to miss or drop out of school. As with some other childhood ills, experts find that some of these issues may continue into adulthood. This makes taking steps to address it and helping your child process their experience all the more important. Child counseling after divorce. The break-up of a marriage is certainly difficult for the parents; however, it can easily be just as hard on the children of the family. There [...]

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5 Ways to Remember to Pray as a Teen

5 Ways to Remember to Pray as a Teen

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T15:05:24+00:00November 9th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Life as a teen is incredibly busy and full. Between home life, school, work, friendships, and sports, teens can feel like they are being pulled in a thousand directions. As a teen, it is common to struggle with fitting in things you know are important, but more so, it is important to remember to pray. This is especially true when it comes to prayer. Whether you grew up praying or prayer is new to you, it is normal that you want to find a way to make your relationship with God something that feels comfortable and natural for you. This may mean it looks different than the way your parents or friends do things. As you explore and discover how you want to connect with God, consider how often you talk to Him. Is it something that comes easily? Do you have regular prayer time or conversation with God? Do you struggle to fit prayer into your life? No matter how you answer those questions, you can always learn new ways to connect with God. The best thing to do is to make it simple. Try new things and see how they feel. If you want to incorporate prayer into your life more, here are some things you can try. Set a reminder. You can set a reminder on your phone or watch to pray at a certain time every day. Sometimes things just get busy, and people forget to pray. Setting a reminder can help you remember to check in and talk to God. Pair it with something. You can connect prayer with something you already do. For example, you can pray every time you brush your teeth. Brushing your teeth is the trigger that reminds you to pray. Since you already do this, it is more likely [...]

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Words for Life: Training Your Brain for Mental and Emotional Health

Words for Life: Training Your Brain for Mental and Emotional Health

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T15:05:38+00:00August 28th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Words are powerful. When we rehearse them, we experience them forming reality as what we speak comes into being. It may not be surprising, as we are created in God’s image. He made us able to imitate Him and experience the authority of impacting our world with our words. If He spoke and saw, then we must consider the weight of what we speak, realizing that it will also impact what we see and experience and our emotional health as a result. Our brains are responsive. They will capture the messages we program and give us an output that aligns with whatever we continue to say. We tend to focus on the glaring negative messages over the positives. God factored this into the makeup of our brains. This is why He has advocated for us to savor His Word in all of our days, for the entirety of our lives (Deuteronomy 6:6-9). For this reason, we have to be intentional about disconnecting from the negative messages and the havoc they wreak on our mental and emotional health. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. – Deuteronomy 6:6-7, ESV The Brain and Belief Negative words and limiting beliefs will chip at our souls, leaving a void that influences our perception of ourselves, others, and sometimes even God. The words we meditate on infiltrate every area of our lives. They can either pull us down or elevate us into all that God has planned for us that we don’t yet realize. Our enemy is counting on us to remain downtrodden [...]

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Easy Ways to Have More Fun in Your Life

Easy Ways to Have More Fun in Your Life

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T15:05:48+00:00August 10th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

When life is busy fun tends to get pushed down to the bottom of the list. This is even truer when you are going through a hard time or struggling. People push fun aside to deal with whatever situation they are facing, to handle hard emotions, to get things done, or even because it seems frivolous. But fun is an important part of your wellness, and it’s easier than you think. “When people are having actual fun, they report feeling focused and present, free from anxiety and self-criticism. They laugh and feel connected, both to other people and to their authentic selves.” – Catherine Price During seasons of busyness or challenge, it would be helpful to feel this way. Imagine whatever you are facing right now and how you feel. Now imagine it: Feeling focused and present. With less anxiety. Void of self-criticism. With laughter. Feeling connected to others. Feeling connected to your true self. Doesn’t that sound like the way you want to feel, especially in a hard or busy time of your life? You may not feel like you have time or space for fun in your life, but there are simple ways you can incorporate more fun to help you feel better. It won’t necessarily fix the problem you face or change everything about how you feel. But it can help. Here are some easy ways to incorporate more fun into your life (even when it feels impossible): Create something. You don’t have to be an artist to create. As people made in God’s image, you have innate creativity within you. That may be artistic or it may be in another way. Just consider things you can do that are creative. Think about different outlets, different ideas, and different ways you can create. Some ideas are: [...]

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The Dangers of Stress Eating

The Dangers of Stress Eating

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:23:31+00:00June 23rd, 2023|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When you think of stress eating, does it seem harmless? You are not hurting anyone, right? All you are trying to do is manage your anxiety and stress with a much less dangerous substance than drugs or alcohol. But is that true? Is eating excess food a harmless activity? Is there a danger to stress eating? Effects of stress eating Overconsuming food and eating foods lacking in nutrients can take a toll on the body. Everything from your digestive system to your emotional state can change when stress eating becomes a habit. This habit feeds off your thoughts and emotions until stress eating becomes an impossible urge to overcome. But you can overcome stress eating with counseling and techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The following is a list of common conditions that can develop from stress eating and eating disorders. High blood pressure. For the body to digest food, blood rushes from other areas to the stomach to process the food and store excess as fat. This process naturally lowers your blood pressure unless the meal contains sodium and added sugars. This combination raises blood pressure and increases heart rate. When more fat is stored, you increase your risk of weight gain, and the extra weight will raise your blood pressure. High blood pressure for long periods can damage the arteries, heart, and kidneys. High cholesterol. Fatty deposits in your arteries can form clots when you have high cholesterol. These clots reduce blood flow in the blood vessels and break off, traveling to the lungs or brain. You can suffer a heart attack or stroke from high cholesterol. Check with your physician about the likelihood of you developing high cholesterol. Family history, genetics, and past and current behaviors can contribute to the condition. Diabetes. Although Type I diabetics [...]

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How Sugar Can Worsen ADHD in Adults

How Sugar Can Worsen ADHD in Adults

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:23:48+00:00June 8th, 2023|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

ADHD in adults can make life a little challenging. You try to focus at work and manage your irritability with your coworkers. You try to remember important tasks and events. You want to keep the peace with your spouse and concentrate on what she says, but your thoughts race to the next thing. To make matters worse, it seems like every time you overindulge in sweets or drink a sugar-laden soda pop or tea, your symptoms get worse. Is there a connection between sugar and a worsening of the symptoms of ADHD in adults? The symptoms of ADHD in adults The following are the most common symptoms of ADHD in adults: Hyperactivity, restlessness, and fidgeting. Lack of focus and concentration. Impulsive behaviors. Short attention span and impatience. Irritability, grumpiness, and mood swings. Anxiety and depression. Forgetfulness and being easily distracted. Not finishing tasks or projects. Sleep problems. Some adults take medication, seek counseling, and make lifestyle changes to manage their symptoms. The effects of sugar The effects of sugar are similar in many areas to the symptoms of ADHD: Mood swings. Irritability. Difficulty concentrating and lack of focus. Fidgeting and hyperactivity. Shakiness. Headaches. Dizziness. Fatigue. Bloating. High blood pressure. Fast heart rate. Increased risk of heart attack or stroke. Weight gain. Increased risk of Type II diabetes. Anxiety and depression. The effects of sugar are much more damaging to the body in the long term. If you combine these effects with ADHD impulsive behaviors, such as risk-taking actions of overconsuming alcohol, you are now placing your health in danger. Even if you do not engage in risky behaviors, the long-term effects can be detrimental. The sooner you can break the sugar’s hold over you, the more likely you are to prevent or reverse some of the effects of sugar. [...]

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How to Tell If You’re in a Toxic Marriage: Signs and Symptoms

How to Tell If You’re in a Toxic Marriage: Signs and Symptoms

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T15:06:08+00:00May 5th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are key to our well-being and flourishing. When our relationships are going great, our lives feel full, bursting with vitality, and it’s quite likely that we can face challenges with confidence. However, if things aren’t going so well in our relationships, it can affect everything else in our lives. This is especially true of a toxic marriage. If you have a tiff with your spouse at home in the morning, that can distract you all day while you’re at work, affecting your focus and productivity. But if your support structure is thriving, you can face and tackle even tough situations with gusto. We are, at our core, relational creatures. As bearers of God’s image, love and relationship are key to who we are (Genesis 1: 26-27; 1 John 4:16). In a marriage, you are at your most vulnerable; your spouse is the person who knows you through and through. They’ve seen you in your moments of exultation and triumph, but they’ve also seen you at your lowest moments of failure and shame. They’ve seen you naked – in all senses of that word – and their voice carries weight in ways that other peoples don’t. It’s no wonder then that Mike Mason, author of The Mystery Of Marriage, wrote that “there is nothing in the world worse than a bad marriage, and at the same time nothing better than a good one.” (Mason) The shape of a healthy marriage. When a marriage is good, it buoys you up in ways no other relationship can. A healthy marriage has several features that set it apart including: You are seen and heard. The world is a cacophonous jumble, and our voices often get lost in the swirl of competing voices that also desire attention. We often find ourselves trying to [...]

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